My first wife

What's the difference between standing up for yourself and being a prideful dick?  It seems like either way it ends up in an arguement.  I suppose the key is whether or not there are loving intentions, which I certainly don't always have.  So somehow I went from being a hero for baking cookies with the kids to winning this week's bad husband award (a very prestigious honor).

 

I started reading "Under The Banner of Heaven".  So now when I contemplate the best way to approach my marriage I think, WWURD?

 

(what would Uncle Rulon do)?

The Heavenly Father believes in the purity of plural marriage.

We've been watching the HBO show Big Love this week. It is so good.
It focuses on a polygamist family in Utah. Wow. I have trouble
enough with one wife, much less three.

Waste it. Spend it. Invest it.

The kids and I went to chuch this morning, as we do most Sundays. I went in with a bad attitude mostly because because I wasn't feeling well. As the service started I was wondering what I was doing there. Just when I was considering sneaking out to take a walk, a mother and daughter did a duet that was so beautiful I almost cried. Later the pastor spoke about the three options we have for what we can do with life: Waste it. Spend it. Invest it. I've done a lot of wasting and spending but not enough investing. So despite my intention to sleep through the service I went away inspired and realizing I really need to get my shit together and start giving something back. I need to shift my focus from 99% about me and my problems to 99% on helping others. That was clearly the intent because as we left the sanctuary there were tables set up displaying all sorts of volunteer opportunities. My daughter, who already drank the Kool-Aid, somehow talked me into joining the choir. I was actually thinking more about something like taking meetings into to detox or getting on a speaker list. But I suppose being a positive example to my kids is a good start.

I'm planning to run in the Torchlight 5k tomorrow. It has been a long time since I've run in an organized event. The last one was back in 2000 when I ran the Twin Cities Marathon. I was in much better running shape then. That was before I started smoking and boozing again. Slowly but surely though I'm getting back into form.

SNews

Relationship news...

 

A stressed out and ornery woman ain't easy to live with.

 

I suppose I haven't always been easy to live with either.  A slight understatement?

 

The job front...

 

I've reworked my resume to apply for a job in the sales organization.  I'm kind of excited about this position.  It is a role where I would be working with other companies to encourage them to sell our annuities.  The people working in that area now are making a shite-load of money.  Not that I NEED more money.  I just like the idea of being judged for tangible results rather than the personal opinions and sexual frustration of lonely, power-hungry women.  My sister-in-law recently ran the sales organization.  She and I are planning on discussing the job at a family gathering tomorrow.  Hopefully she can provide some valuable insight.

 

Fireworks...

 

Seriously, how many more fireworks displays am I required to view in my lifetime?  The Chinese really need to come up with something new.

 

 

Shoes, shorts and socks required

I've had a nice day hanging out at the Spyhouse Cafe. I updated my resume, which is a major step in the path to my next job. I've also got another friend involved in the search. He is an experienced consultant so he should be a big help if I go in that direction.

My wife and I have been having some great days. We started the week with a tough session with the therapist, which could have caused things to go down hill. Instead we have been doing our homework with great results. We went running together for our regular meeting. Then we had a family meeting where we laid out the new world order to the kids. No longer will Seeta be the sole disciplinarian and there will be real consequences for their offenses. Last night we went to a movie together. I "won" tickets to an advanced screening of the film "Broken English" at the Lagoon Theatre. It was dang good. Afterwards we hung out at the Spyhouse. Not a single tense moment. Not bad.

There's a guy walking across the street wearing shorts with dress socks and dress shoes. Maybe that look is finally going to have its moment in fashion. Its been a long time coming.

Bedrock

I'm struggling with the short-timer mentality that goes with thinking I won't be around at my job for long.  My boss picked up on it.  Not in that I wasn't doing my job but that he sensed I was not my normal talkative self.  He did recognize my one year anniversary (a day early), which was kind of him.  He also noted that he had put me on his church's prayer list about a year ago.  Also nice, but it kind of freaks me out.  I'm just not used to that kind of thing - especially from my boss.  I feel kind of guilty that I've had such a bad attitude about his attempts at friendship.  However, the truth is that it just doesn't make sense as long as I report to him.  Hopefully that won't continue for long.  I asked my high roller friend to put the feelers out with his high roller contacts over at the North Oaks Country Club.  He says I should be able to have some conversations with some of them at a minimum.  I've always figured that I would try to hook my friends up if I had struck it rich.  I supposed that mentality is why I probably will never strike it rich.  In the words of Fred Flintstone, "Nice guys finish last."

L 4

What is it about my job that I like?

- The people who report to me
- The view out of my window from the 22ND floor
- Rescuing messed up projects
- Having the right answer to a problem no one else could solve
- Sharing my technical knowledge
- Being within walking distance of several Caribou's
- Being able to exercise over my lunch break
- A lot of vacation time

Wow. This is ridiculous. It might be that I have a bad attitude right now, but I am really struggling to come up with anything about the actual job that I like. At least with my previous job I could seriously say that I enjoyed the technical aspects of the work. I liked the puzzle solving nature of it. I liked that I possessed skills few other people at the company had. I liked that I was of some use. I feel kind of useless in my current job. Although I do know that being the focus of blame serves an important purpose in any organization.