You outta know

Yep I've been neglecting the blog this week. The good thing is that it is a sign that I'm probably getting a little less self-absorbed. Probably not enough for anyone else to notice but that's OK.

I went to a great concert Wednesday.

The In-laws

I spent the weekend with my wife's family. Here sister was in town so everyone got together. In their family get togethers equal a whole lot of drinking. The positive take away for me is that I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. I felt pretty dang relaxed. No one really annoyed me either. I call that progress.

Disconnected

I have a tendency to let my spirituality slack off when things are
going well. So I need to remind myself to show gratitude where it is
due - to God.

Time to pray.

Occaisional clarity

I've been feeling a lot of gratitude for the past few days. I don't take that for granted any more.

I had a great weekend. My daughter's team took 2nd place in the big tournament. First they beat the most dominant team of the season - a team that was undefeated until our girls took them down in a shocking upset. The championship game later that day was one of the most exciting battles I've ever witnessed. We lost only after the would be winning basket went up a split second after the final buzzer. For a few seconds we thought we had won. So close! The most awesome thing to watch though was how much my daughter's skills had improved. She had the best play of the game. First she knocked down a pass and scrambled for the ball with two defenders hanging all over her. Not only did she come away with the ball but she had the presence of mind and athleticism to attempt a shot. The entire place went wild (at least I did) when the ball fell in for the score. Did I mention she got straight A's on her last report card?

Back on track?

Wow. What a week. It was rough but some really great things happened too. Both my kids came home with fabulous report cards. Also, my daughter's team won the first game in their basketball tournament. Sunita played a key role in the win. She dominated on defense and she scored the last two baskets to win the game. This is so amazing because just last year she was an absolute beginner. For example, she scored two baskets - but for the other team. Its been so much fun watching her improve and start really enjoying the game.

I've also continued to play at open mic coffee houses. It is a lot of fun but it also shows me I really need to practice.

On the rougher side, it looks like we have a plan in place: Regular coffee shop conversations and at least 6 Al-Anon meetings. I don't get the impression the Al-Anon meetings will happen any time soon though. We'll see. As long as we focus on problem resolution rather than personal gain.

Here is the Peace Pilgrim web site. Pretty cool.

Oh that's right, the Top 5:

1. Despite everything, she loves me.
2. She has an amazing capacity for forgiveness.
3. She is able to see the good in me, however well hidden.
4. Nothing is more important to her than our kids.
5. She is beautiful.

I don't even know what to think any more. Its a good thing I have
people to do that for me. I'm heading to couples therapy in an hour.
It should be fun.

I'm back. Nope. It was horrible.

I identify with this guy

Check out this news story from the BBC about Israel's ambassador to El Salvador. Just another example of how addictions can destroy someone's life. At least he'll have a good story to tell from the Podium.

The Naked Ambassador

Rough weekend

I noticed that part of my basement was flooded while hooking up my new TV. Kind of a downer on the event. It wasn't long after that that the rats in the cage started taking our frustrations out on each other.

Shrink wrapped

The shrink agrees with the sponsor. I have to accept that everything in my life has happened exactly as it was supposed to. I've learned from my mistakes and I've made my ammends. I no longer need to feel like the guilty one in my marriage. We are both responsible for working our own programs. Dr. E even questions whether my depression isn't a product of my dysfunctional marriage rather than the cause. He pointed out how much work I've done to change myself and to save the marriage. But if I am expected to wash away my sins by flooding her with affection it will never be enough. That being said...

The top 5:

1. She tells great stories about growing up in Guyana.

2. She loves going to concerts with me.

3. She has a lovely permanent tan.

4. She is a damn good nurse.

5. She is seeking God even though she doesn't know his name.

I performed at the Atelier open mic again last night. The guy who played before me was clearly a pro. I was more inspired than intimidated though. I played two songs I wrote and they went over pretty well. Still no groupies.

All is well

Both my kids were named "Citizen of the Month" at school.  I am so grateful that they are doing well.  We took them out to Buca for dinner to celebrate.  It is times like this when I can take a deep breath and feel good about my life.  I wonder how well they would be doing if my wife and I were still separated, or if I were still partying it up?  Thank God I don't have to find out.

 

Today's top 5:

 

1. She looks hot in the new jeans she bought today.

2. She understands why I feel we need a new 50" TV.

3. She says she absolutely wants me to stay sober.

4. She still believes marriage counseling can help.

5. She is constantly seeking to learn new things.

I've been working from home the past two days because of the snow. Its been kind of fun. I could get a bit stir crazy though if I had to stay home all the time. The wife was getting kind of crabby yesterday so my patience was being tested. I think I did pretty well though.

The 5:

1. She rubs my head when I have a headache.
2. She bought me a new posturepedic(?) pillow.
3. She made me chicken pot pie.
4. She tells me I'm cute (eye of the beholder)
5. She likes my singing.